Until we meet again...

Finally HOME!

                                                                            

I have been debating on whether or not I should post anything about this past weekend.. (Its been a rough one) But whats the point of keeping a blog to share with my children, If I don't keep track of the hard memories as well as the happy ones(: We have had quite the week: the boys all battled the flu, Briyler is still not potty trained!!!, Kynlie got her first tooth (and she's been a BEAR), and yep end of the week rolls around and now its moms turn for the flu.. Of all the weekends I could have been sick, this had to be the ONE!

On Friday, January 27th 2012, I woke up feeling a little under the weather but quite optimistic that I was going to have a great Birthday weekend!! I had 4 text messages by the time I got out of bed. First one from my mother in law, second from my dad, third from my amazing friend Ashley and last from my mom, ALL wishing me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. I was soo excited, but as I was reading over my dad's text I noticed he sent another text immediately after that said "call me as soon as you get this".. I was thinking I was going to call and he would have some made up KEESHA version of "happy birthday" to sing, or maybe he would tell a super lame/ outdated joke (not that I don't love those dad) to help me start off my day. But when I called I definitely didn't get a birthday song or a lame joke I got "THE NEWS!!!, Nikki grandma passes away this morning at 12:31am, I wanted to make sure to tell you before you found out some other way".... WAIT............ NO.......... I couldn't have heard that right. I mean I know grandma has been struggling and we all knew she was going to pass away but not this week.. Not TODAY!! I still haven't gone to see her, and I still haven't taken the great grand kids to see her.  I"M NOT READY... I guess that's the funny thing about Heavenly Fathers timing, sometimes its not the same as our timing. I know my grandma wouldn't want me to feel guilty for not going to see her the last couple weeks, or for not taking the kids to go see her.. ( I actually think she might have kicked me out if I took the kids to see her, she didn't have the energy for visits like that) I know deep down that my grandma knows how much I loved her, How much we ALL LOVE HER.

Grandma was a fighter. My dad tells us stories about when he was younger and all of the sacrifices my grandma had to make to raise 2 boys being a single mom. She worked SOOO HARD, and she had a lot of unfair things happen to her, but she NEVER GAVE UP!! She taught my dad that if something or someone knocks you down, you get back up and you do the best you can do. Grandma was diagnosed with "terminal" cancer a couple months ago. On top of the cancer she had stomach issues that caused her to be in alot of pain. After the stomach surgery grandma was in the ICU for 3 weeks (I'm not exactly sure about the weeks but it was a while) she slowly recovered but not enough to go home. They had her placed in a long term hospital where she did ok, she was still processing the news of having terminal cancer and even after this stomach surgery she was still experiencing pain. Grandma did however recover enough to be sent to a short term rehab, she did physical therapy everyday. But it was just to much for her body to take. She didn't eat a lot and she was weak most days. The rehab agreed to take her home one day for a couple hours so she could see her cats (hoping that would lift her spirits and give her the push she needed to recover). It was 2 days later that grandma caught pneumonia and decided that she just couldn't fight anymore. She was tired, her body was weak and she knew that even if she was to beat this she still had a long, hard, painful road that was impossible to beat (CANCER).... A discouraging diagnosis to say the least and it was just to much. Mom and Dad were there with grandma when she passed. Dad got to lay next to grandma on her bed as she took her last breathe.  I don't think there are really words to describe what that "moment" could have been like. I'm sure my grandma was happy that her son was with her, holding her had as she left his earth.

Here are a few things that remind me of grandma:

*she loved to wear wigs and lipstick :)

*she LOVED CATS!!

*she always said she wanted to be remembered as a FUN GRANDMA!

*she spoiled us with more candy than any of us could ever eat.

*she used to tell fun/ funny stories all the time

*she took me to get my ears pierced when my mom told me NO;)

*she loved to shop... (wonder where i get that from:O)

*she loved to sing

*she was a convert to "The church of Jesus Christ of latter day Saints"

*she was thoughtful and caring

*she loved Donnie and Marie Ozmond and Jimmy Buffet :)


We all LOVE you SOOO MUCH grandma!! I know you'll be watching over us and looking forward to the day when we will be able to see you again :)
ALL OUR LOVE 

UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN!!!