Its kind of a long story but well worth the read. (if you want to read the full story go here: http://bravegirlsclub.com/archives/2151) I'll do my best to summarise it.
The story is titled "we must see past what it seems"
***The story begins, with this lovely young women describing all of the hardships she has suffered in the last couple of years. The main one being that her husband was in a boating accident. The Dr's told her it was brain damage, and they werent sure what his recovery would be like or how long it would take if ever for him to make a FULL recovery.. The husband that this young women had once known was gone, he was a completely different person after the accident! He was angry, and depressed. He stopped working, he couldn't handle being around other people at all. And to top it off he was suicidal most of the time. He could barely take care of himself, let alone his wife, kids and the business he had once run. This young women was VERY protective over her husband. She didn't want people to see him like that, she didn't want people to judge him or think negative thoughts about him. She handled everything to the best of her ability ALONE. The road was excruciatingly hard and VERY LONELY. There were days she didn't want to go on or she didn't think she was capable of going on.... She wished she didnt have to hide it all the time, she wanted to walk around wearing a sign, like this one........
.... so that people would know to be a little gentler with her and her family during this rough time..
There were FEW moments when her husband would come to his senses, all of his anger would despite and he would be "HERE", actually here. It usually only lasted for about an hour or so but she got to be with him during that time and it gave her hope.... Most of the time however, her husband was just drifting through life, not really understanding what was happening around him. They owned there own international business, they had a farm in a small town and they had LOTS of kids. Eventually it all caught up to her and she just couldn't do it.. Her husband used to run the business, and the farm, he used to help out with the kids and the house and now she was left to do it all ALONE.. It was just to much!! One day during one of his episodes where he was "HERE" she started telling him everything that was going on.. "We were sinking I mean really SINKING. There were Dr bills, and employees that needed to be paid, and the farm was overgrown and not kept up.. We had no more money. Of course like any man in his right mind, he PANICKED. He immediately started thinking of things he could do to help our financial situation."
Her husband had a sign delivered to there home, one that has huge letters and neon lights. He put it out by the road in one of our horse fields.. then he drove there Suburban, both of there trucks, "my" thunder bird (the one he bought me for my birthday), there tractor, all of there tractor implements, the boat "(that I worked 10 years to get for him)". He lined everything up along side the fence and put a price tag on EVERYTHING. Then he put the letters F*O*R S*A*L*E on the board with his name and number and turned it on.
There it was... all of there stuff put out in there yard for EVERYONE TO SEE. The neighbors, there friends, people they didn't know. Well the sign was not up in the yard for more than a few hours when her husbands phone rang... It was someone who had saw the big huge sign in our yard with my husbands phone number on it. Luckily my husband was still in a good state of mind.. She was apologizing for how awful the yard looked and trying to explain to him that she had tried to keep up with it... He was feeling soo guilty for leaving her to run there lives alone. They were trying to make a plan..
When her husband answered his phone. She noticed that he was just listening, she could hear the voice on the other end of the line getting louder and LOUDER, but her husband just listened. He was trying to turn his back so she couldn't hear, but she could hear.. and it seemed to go on and on..
she could hear this man saying
"you are bringing down the value of my property with this ugly sign"
"that is the most obnoxious sign, do you have a permit to have that out there"
"are you starting a used car lot"
"you have got to get all of this moved out of here, or I am calling the authorities"
When the man was done ranting, her husband sat there very calmly for a second and then said something she will never forget:
"Sir" he said, "there was a time in this country, in this community.. when if you drove past your neighbor's house and saw every single thing they own was up for sale in front of there house... and that there lawn had not been mowed for weeks... that you would stop and say...WHAT IS GOING ON, SOMETHING MUST BE TERRIBLY WRONG, WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP YOU?"
The man was silent, her husband then went on to tell him a few details about what was going on with there family..
The man waited a moment and then his tone changed... he apologized, I mean REALLY apologized. Then he said, "I am going to call all of my friends and see if any of them need any of this stuff"..
The poor young women wished more than anything that she could have put up on that big stupid sign that "OUR LIVES WERE FALLING APART! .."
What if we could all wear a sign that said WHAT WE REALLY MEANT?!.. what if we could go straight past the small talk.. or the masks.....and we could actually go straight to the heart of the matter.... What if our family, friends and even complete strangers wore signs like this?
.....we would treat each other differently.
When a friend is too quiet... or not showing up to stuff they usually come to...or they are acting a little "off"....or a family member is wearing pajamas to the grocery store for weeks on end.... or not answering there phone... or the lawn isn't mowed.... whatever it is.... IT IS A SIGN! Its not a sign that can be read in words or letters, but it is a sign that someone needs to be treated gently.. That they need love, and understanding, compassion, and maybe just a little HELP!! ****
Every time I read this story, It makes my heart melt!! How many people walk around not showing any signs of stress or struggle at all. You can never tell from the outside looking in how much someone is suffering, sometimes its beyond what they think they are capable of handling.. I know all of my dear friends that are struggling right now don't show it at all, and I wish I could put a sign around there neck for them so that people would be a little gentler with them, a little LESS judgemental and a little MORE compassionate.. This is a great reminder to me that everyone has trials and its soo important to LOVE and show compassion to everyone no matter what it seems like from the outside looking in!
I know this was a super long post, thanks for hanging in there!
All our love the Harding Family!
Nikki thank you for sharing. You are such an amazing example of charity and have Chrislike qualities. I'm honored to call you my friend.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Sariah
i really liked this, thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sariah!! you are soo sweet, I am soo grateful for you and your family:) You've been a blessing in my life and I bet you didnt even know it:)
ReplyDeleteThanks Megan!! :O) glad you enjoyed it!