Sunday morning Tallin's xrays were looking pretty bad and the doctors were leaning on the idea of putting him on a ventilator and trying other methods to help get his lungs to pop open, when I heard this I was a little nervous, and my father in law suggested that we should give Tallin "a name" and blessing while he was here at the hospital. Kaj called me and let me know that he thought it was a good idea and he had already talked to the bishop and everything was set to go. My mom, dad, Kaj and a member of the bishopric (and family friend Wyatt Barrett) came up to the hospital, Kaj asked my father in law to give the blessing and can I just say how BEAUTIFUL IT WAS!! I wish I could remember every word of the blessing but all I really remember is feeling the spirit soo strongly. I love the blessings that the priesthood bring and I love the comfort that those blessings always seem to bring to me. (and it was a good thing I had that to draw from)
After the blessing had finished and everyone left, things kind of calmed down and I was hoping that things were looking up for Tallin. They ordered the usual daily xray Sunday and Monday night and not only was he not making progress he was seeming to get worse. Tallins left lung is still completely collapsed and his top upper lobe had collapsed again. Since we have been in here for 6 days they are worrying because he is STILL not making progress. Today (Tues may 21st) we noticed that there was a significant change in Tallins breathing, he seemed to be struggling A LOT! His stomach would retract soo deep every time he would take a breath and you could just see that he was having a hard time. He had 2 desats this morning (drops in his oxygen level), that may not seem like a lot but he hasn't had ANY in the last few days so it was just another sign that he is struggling a little bit more today. The doctors turned up the oxygen level on his CPAP for an hour but after seeing no change they decided it was time to ventilate him. The doctors explained how the procedure would go and what would happen.. He would be heavily sedated and also get a parasitical so he wouldn't be able to move while they were trying to put in the tube. (a med that temporally paralyzes him), I asked if I could hold him before they did the procedure and of course they let me. I got to hold him for an hour before he was sedated. It was the sweetest hour we have spent together since he's been born. He was completely awake for most of it, he was smiling and making all sorts of cute faces for me, it was such a precious moment and I really think I needed it! I hugged and kissed him Over and OVER and OVER!!
We are hoping that his next xray (4am wed morning) shows lots of progress. The goal is to have him off of the ventilator as soon as that left lung pops open (1-2 days HOPEFULLY) ....
Heartbreaking:( :(
we are hoping for the best
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