The Harding Family: Would you sell your soul for a nickel?

Today's FHE lesson was on choices today,  this lesson is kind of divided into 2 sections. 1st was a reminder to always try to make good choices with our behavior and 2nd was: learning about choosing between "good better and best" with our activities.. Since conference was soo fresh on our minds I wanted to use part of Elder Gay's talk. I knew the moment I started listening to his talk that this was something I wanted/needed to talk to my children about. I have been reading a few articles on some mommy mormon blogs about helping our children choose between "Good Better and Best" sometimes life is full to the brim with activities, church callings, events, and social gatherings! It can end up being just a little to much if we aren't careful. I love that lately there have been a lot of talks telling us that its ok to "SIMPLIFY" our lives, and in some cases it is necessary for us to step back and take out some of the many things that demand our time.. Don't get me wrong I grew up in a home where we were busy busy busy, and I don't see anything wrong with that lifestyle as long as you are busy doing the "right" things. My brothers and I always did sports, played instruments, and attended other fun activities whenever we were able. I want my kids to participate in some of those things but I don't want them to necessarily participate in ALL of those things. Sometimes in life you have to choose from things that are ALL GOOD, that being the case I need to learn how to prioritise things into "Good, Better, and Best" categories .. the kids may want to play an instrument, be on the football team, on the drama team and also a traveling baseball team but the amount of time that those activities require doesn't leave a lot of time left for family dinners, FHE lessons and mutual. I know that I have a long time before this might become a serious issue for my kids but I want them to already have there minds made up when the time comes that they will probably have to choose between lots of "Good" activities.

One of the blogs that I recently read talks about Mothers and our roll in what our children are choosing to do.. It talked about what we are teaching them takes priority and the types of things we are gearing them toward doing.. It talks about not only them being prepared to make choices between good things but also us making those same choices. This lovely sister said she has a few checklists she uses in these situations, I love them and want to remember them for when my kids get older:) ....(here is her link if you'd like to read the full article http://mothers-who-know.blogspot.com/2012/10/good-better-best-in-motherhood.html)

CHECKLISTS

     *Am I doing this for me? So I can "fit in" with the motherly trends of the day?
      *Do they want to do this?
      *Am I doing this so my child will be popular?
      *Is there anything about this choice that I have to keep secret from my husband? like the total cost, uniform cost, expenses for out of town trips] I would encourage you to stay up front about all of it, before signing up.
      *Is the atmosphere, or peers, where I want my child to be and become?
       *In 10 years will this be a positive experience and memory? Will I have any regrets?
      *Is this bringing us to Christ now?

Do I feel like this is right for them, and our family?
Do they have a true gift?
Do we have enough money in our monthly budget to incorporate this expense?
Does their activity schedule make sense for our family?
Is there benefits involved like, scholarships, part-time jobs, building self-esteem?
Is this strengthening our family?
Is it strengthening them?

If you answer No to any of these questions than you might not want to pursue that particular activity. I talked to them about things that we might be exposed to and then asked them if that would be worth it to them. Example, you want to play on a traveling baseball team but they require you play on Sunday, is that worth it? (just keep in mind these are goals for our family, they may not work for every situation or in anyone elses family) :) After we talked about activities and needing to choose between them so that we could leave time for important family and church things, we moved on and talked a little bit about the choices that we make and how it effects our future and ultimately who we become.

My favorite part of Elder Gay's talk was when he told the story of when he was a young boy (11 yrs old). He used to use his allowance to go to the movies at that time movies were pretty cheap so even after he purchased his ticket he still had enough money to buy himself 5 candy bars to eat during the movie. He said when he turned 12 the price for his movie ticket went up which only left him with enough money to buy 3 candy bars. He said he was not really sure that he wanted to make that sacrifice and no one would know if he lied about his age, so he did.. When he went home and told his father about going to the movies and what he had done his father asked him "Son would you sell your soul for a nickel?" meaning was it worth it to lie and do something that you KNOW was not right just so you could have a few extra candy bars. Elder Gay said that he has always remembered what his father told him that day and that it made a huge impact on his life. In Elder Gay's situation there was definitely a WRONG choice being made but ultimately what his father told him after he made that choice is what helped him understand that he needed to change his way of thinking. I planned a few little activities to help the boys understand a little bit better.. I gave each child a nickel and told them they could keep it, then I gave them 2 more nickels and told them that they could keep those nickels but only if they "didn't say the prayer before our snack" (lucky for me the kids really LOVE to say prayers so that seemed like a big sacrifice for them). We talked about how sometimes we are tempted to do something wrong so that we can have immediate gratification. I want my kids to be prepared to stand for what is right, to not hesitate when they are faced with a decisions that will ultimately define who they become. I want them to have the knowledge of right and wrong but also the knowledge of "good better and best". Life is full of choices and sometimes there isn't always a wrong choice there is just a not as good choice:)

We set up a little game to help us see how "a bunch" of bad decisions can effect the outcome of our character. I took a picture of a boy and a girl missionary (boys and girls who are clearly making the right choices) I told the kids that this is what we will turn out to be if we follow the right path.. Then I gave the boys a pen and a piece of paper and had them draw a picture of someone that was choosing "bad".. We drew our picture step by step as I read our little experiences to them.. Here are the questions/experiences that I used for the boys to correlate with this activity:)

EYES: Look for ways that this could help improve my self worth
-bad: does it expose us to things that our minds may not ever be able to forget

Mouth: WIll this help me to teach the gospel- be a good missionary
bad: will it expose us to unhealthy things for our bodies or make us want to partake in unclean actions

Ears: will this teach me things that will be beneficial to my future: gospel or other knowledge
bad: will it expose us to bad language or unclean subjects

Head/hair: will this help me be more understanding of those around me
bad: will this make it hard to attend family dinners, fhe, and mutual activities

Heart/shirt: will this help my Love for the Savior and others
bad: will this fill my heart with hatred jealousy or anger

Arms: will this help me serve those around me
bad: will this cause me to have to play or participate on the Sabbath

Pants: is this something that will help me be prepared to put on the armor of God.
Bad: is this something that will cause me to be around others that do not have my same beliefs and ultimate goals

Shoes: will this help me to stand for truth and what I believe in
bad: will this temp me to skip out on spiritual events: EFY, mutual, seminary etc..

This week we are going to continue our "would you sell your soul for a nickel?" lesson by rewarding good behavior.. If mom catches you making a "good choice" you get a nickel but if you are caught making a bad decision you have to pay a nickel.. I think this will be especially fun for Ryker since he is getting older and understanding things on a different level. The other kids will probably do ok the 1st day and then it will become old news:) .........(that's ok with me, they are all on different levels right now and even though its not a lot of years there is a HUGE maturity gap between the ages of 2 and 3 and 3 and 6, and the other kids are way to young to understand most of the lesson.. so as long as they say opening and closing prayer and listen to SOME of the lesson that counts as a success for me)

After we had our lesson and talked about how to earn our nickels we made CARMEL APPLES.. just in time for fall :) super fun, easy and mostly healthy snack!! WOOP WOOP!!