FHE, filling eachothers jars with kindness

I thought that since my new goal is trying to find Joy, I would try to make it a little easier by helping my kids and myself to remember to speak kind words to eachother.. Lets face it when they are being kind and polite it is SOO MUCH easier to love them and it always helps to hear kind words from others:)

PREP: I printed out a the above saying and then made a jar with each childs name on it. After I did that I made 2 more jars, one that said "nice words" and was filled with M & M's and the other that said "naughty or unkind words" and was filled with screws (you could use rocks or marbles, I just didn't have any)...

I started off by using some nice things that often get said in our home: "your my best friend", "I love you", "your funny", "you look like a princess, (kind of a long story)"  and then we moved onto the un kind things that often get said: "if you don't do it then I wont be your friend", "your a meanie", "I don't like you", "we never get to have ANY FUN"... :) these are things that the kids often say so it was easy for them to relate to these examples. We went around the room saying things good and bad that we had said today.. For every good thing you said to someone you got to put an M & M in their jar and for every un kind thing you said to them you got to put a screw in their jar.. We talked about filling eachothers jars with kind words and loving actions (the M & M's). The kids really loved this and it seemed like they really got it, every time they put or got a screw in there jar they would say "ahh sad".. it was nice to see them taking in the lesson and really understanding that the way we talk to eachother effects our moods and what our "jars" get filled with.. :)

Game: After the kids had eaten all of their M & M's we played a game, the Kindness toss.... We all sat in a circle and I started off with the stuffed animal. You throw the animal to someone in the circle and whoever you throw it to, you have to say something nice about that person.. It was soo funny to hear the things Ryker and Briyler came up with.. "Your pretty", "Your a good dancer", "You have cool hair" .... I LOVED watching them actually think about what they wanted to say.

We ended off with cookies for dessert and it made for a GREAT NIGHT:0) soo happy to be back on the FHE train...... I don't know why my computer isn't letting me download pictures anymore but I will figure it out sooner or later:)

Starting OVER!!!

                               

Life: It doesn't SLOW down during "the moments" you want to treasure. It doesn't SPEED up when it feels like your world is crashing down. It doesn't STOP when you just need a minute to catch your breath... It just keeps going, CONSTANT and steady. Lately I feel like with every passing day I am just falling further and further behind. I know I have been MIA for the last couple of months, and I thought I was using this time to catch up after the holiday's but that hasn't happened at all...

The last couple of months have been NEW for me:) I have never really struggled with being happy. It seemed to come naturally for me and what a BLESSING that is/was.. As of lately I have been finding life to be very OVERWHELMING and just plain hard.. Some of you might be thinking life is hard now, what about the 3 consecutive years you were pregnant with 4 children:) Even though my pregnancies and deliveries weren't always easy, being pregnant and having new babies was a very comfortable thing for me. I knew what to expect: I knew what kind of foods I liked and didn't like, I knew that I needed to take hot baths/showers EVERY NIGHT, I knew that I could usually nap when the kids napped,  I knew that I would probably gain about 25-35lbs and I was ok with that (for the most part), I knew that I NEVER had to get dressed or make dinner (thanks to the most amazing husband EVER),  I was pretty in tune with my body and what it needed. If I was tired I slept, if I was hungry I ate, If I was moody I cried:) Then the baby came and I felt like I was pretty good with newborns. I could usually determine what he/she needed, I knew how to feed them (the way they liked), I knew how to comfort them when they sad, I knew when they were getting sick and when it was just the sniffles.. I just KNEW!.. (I felt like I was just starting to get the hang of it.. :) but after Tallin surprised us (at 32 weeks old) and I got pretty sick. EVERYTHING changed..  Kaj and I both knew that we needed to make a pretty big decision about whether or not we should continue having more children, since the Doctors couldn't figure out why our babies were coming so early and why I was getting sicker it left us in a very tough spot. We talked about it for days, I prayed about it for WEEKS and we both came to the conclusion that we should be done and I should get my tubes tied (if you know us then you know if one of us didn't get surgery, I would have gotten pregnant the next month no matter what form of birth control I was taking) for my health and to prevent going through another premature birth. I was SOO SURE of it when we decided but the last couple of months have been SOO HARD FOR ME!!! I am usually well into another pregnancy by now if not already having another baby, and the thought of NEVER holding another newborn (of my own) is OHH SOOO DEVASTATING!!! WHAT DID I DO!!!!

 I feel like I don't know who I am without being pregnant. I don't know what my body is telling me anymore (am I depressed, am I just moody, are my hormones going crazy, is it just my anemia), and I am beginning to see that I am FAR BETTER with new borns than I am with toddlers.. Between all of the different phases: "the No phase", "the potty-training phase", "the time-out phase", "the I know EVERYTHING, and mom knows nothing phase", "the hitting phase", "the bickering phase", "the picky-eater phase", "the I don't know how to clean up my own messes phase", 'the I'm-struggling-in-school phase"... we are currently struggling with all of the phases with one or more children ALL AT THE SAME TIME, and its exhausting.. I feel like no matter what I do it isn't enough, it isn't right, and even though I'm trying my hardest I am sure that I am scaring my children FOR LIFE!!! I want sooo badly to have LOVING, tender hearted, sweet, compassionate, friendly, and FUN children and I know I am supposed to be the one teaching them those things but it doesn't seem like they are catching on, or I'm just not doing it right... I feel like our lives are just passing us by, we aren't enjoying and savoring every moment we have together, we are just surviving them and that makes me soo sad.. I am never going to get these moments back and I really want to learn how to enjoy every phase no matter what it is with each one of my kids. 

SOO here I am, ready to start again!!! I am ready to find out who I am and start moding myself into the person I want to become.  I know I'm a few months late for the whole new years resolution thing, and I know that I've already given up on my January goals.. Yep I'm a clique:) but I am hoping that writing this down will help me be accountable for MY ACTIONS.. I am hoping that I will be able to look back and see how hard this phase of life is for me.. I know that before I can be the best MOM I can be, I need to be the best ME I can be.. I don't know if that makes sense but to me it just means that I need to make sure that I'm taking time to develop myself spiritually, physically, and emotionally so that I am able to help my children grow in those area's as well.. I know that the things that mean the most in this life are usually the things that are the hardest to obtain,  so today is the day!! I am going to put everything I have into being a BETTER Mother, Wife and Daughter of Heavenly Father.. I say better because I know that "my better" is probably somebody else's "mediocre" but one of the things I need to learn is not to compare myself to anyone else.. My life and our family is unique and different from everyone else's, not easier or harder, just different. I need to remember to make sure that I am constantly turning to Heavenly Father for guidance for my own life... So these are a few things I AM DOING TO START:

 ---FHE: EVERY WEEK NO MATTER WHAT!! --Ya I know, DUH, this should already be happening but I'm going to be honest, its NOT and I NEED TO BE BETTER!! (I am GOING TO BE BETTER)

 ----Going to the temple at least once a month.. Since Kaj and I teach the 4 yr olds in Sunday school, I don't feel like I get spiritually "fed" like i used to. :) I need to make it a PRIORITY to take care of my testimony and fill my own spiritual cup.. ---- so if you would like to babysit for me, I am now accepting requests ;) -------

 ---Nightly scripture study... we were doing soo good, and then life hit and i decided to give up... Well not anymore, scripture study is BACK ON BABY!!

 ----and last but definitely not least... I need to make it a PRIORITY to have fun with my kids. We have such a set schedule (which is great don't get me wrong) but sometimes schedules are made to be broken!! I need to turn off the "nap nazi" and bust out the play dough every now and then... :)



I know the things that have always been important to me and I'm beginning to see just how easy it is to get distracted and lose sight of our goals in this life. I know that this happens to everyone at some point (or at lease I think it happens to most of us) so instead of being super hard on myself, I am just going to acknowledge it, because you cant change something you don't acknowledge, and then focus on getting my life back on track. One of my favorite songs is "Joy in the Journey", I think that it used to be pretty easy for me to find the Joy but now that its a little bit harder I am going to make a conscious effort EVERYDAY, to remind myself as often as I can, to find Joy in my everyday routine:)
                                               

Briyler's 4!!

How did this day get here SOOO FAST!! Briyler shares his special day with his uncle Trevor and "Papa Hall" but that I don't even think he notices. He was completely spoiled by all of his aunts and uncles and grandma's and grandpa's.. We enjoyed a special dinner at Texas Road house (uncle Trevors choice) and then enjoyed a cars/spiderman birthday cake (Briylers choice) with half chocolate and half white cake.. SUPER YUMMY! Briyler got a ton of play dough and spiderman gifts and he couldn't have been happier.. Thanks soo much EVERYONE.

Briyler at age 4

* You love to do everything Ryker is doing
* You put on a show anytime you can get attention
-which is funny because you dont really like big crowds.
* You are kind of sensitive
* You WANT TO GO TO SCHOOOL SOOOO BAD
* You like to play the new leapster you got for Christmas
* You are VERY big for your age (a wopping 45 lbs)
* You love Spiderman,  cars, Tangled and cartoons
* You like to break dance for your aunts and uncles
* You love to play with play dough but only if Ryker is home to play with you
* Your favorite food is hot dogs but you will eat anything and everything that I put in front of you
* Your favorite person is Grandma (that is EVERYONE'S favorite person though)
* Your favorite color is green
* You wrestle with pretty much everyone you see
* You like BYU (other than that you don't care to much about sports)
* You are pretty funny and make everyone laugh with your crazy stories
* You learned to ride a scooter this year and you are sad that it is winter and you don't get to ride it on your birthday
* You are clingy when you get embarrassed or when your in trouble
* You love to snuggle up and watch a movie when your tired.
* You cant wait for the movie "Planes" to come out
* You want to be a spy
* You Make me and daddy smile and WE LOVE YOU more than you'll EVER KNOW!!


Happy Birthday to a SUPER COOL 4 year old!

Christmas

I absolutely LOVE the holiday season. We try not to go overboard on shopping or get to caught up in the stresses of the season hoping that will leave us with lots of time to be together and enjoy the simple blessings life brings us:) I LOVE spending time as a family, this year we have been able to focus on the true meaning of Christmas with the kids and what a blessing it has been. It has been so fun to see the kids taking on a new understanding of why we celebrate Christmas and what the "true meaning" really is. They are still young so I'm sure we will go through lots of "new understandings" but it is fun to watch them grow. I want our kids to know how important it is to GIVE, (not only during the holiday season) but especially during this time of year. This year has been more than humbling for our family, we have received numerous anonymous gifts which have made it possible for our kids to have a Christmas this year. I can not express in words how grateful I am to each and every person for their small and BIG acts of kindness towards our family but I can say that although I cant pay it back immediately I can pay it forward .. and I can make sure that my children grow up learning the importance of service and generosity.  This year we have seen the temple lights, acted out the nativity, drove around the see the lights on the "polar express" ( aka: dodge durango style) :), I am lucky that Kaj has always LOVED this time of year so he really initiates a lot of the activities that we do, the kids love to see dad get so excited and involved in our activities and it is super fun for me too :)

I have been having a hard time uploading pictures so hopefully i can fix that asap.. (I am super behind on the whole blogging thing :)

Temple Square FHE

Yep it really has been a LONG TIME since I did an FHE post and that's because I'm sad to say its been a while since we actually had a planned FHE.. I need to re commint to Family Home Evenings. There is definitely a difference in our home when we have them and it is something that the kids look forward to every week. Lucky for them Dad was persistent this week. I honestly told Kaj to turn around 3 times: We left home hoping to get downtown by 530 so that the kids weren't out super late and the weather wasn't too cold for them. Well needless to say 530 didn't happen, we stopped to get kids meals for dinner the kids loved that but there good moods were short lived. There was a major accident on the freeway so after sitting in stop and go traffic for 30 min we decided to take state street and well that was a bad idea, lets just say that:)  At 6:15 we were only at 90th south and by then i was SOOOO I was done (and so were the kids). I tried to persuade dad to stop at a play place and let the kids get out and just play instead of going downtown but dad was not having any of it. He LOVES Christmas time and he really wanted to get the family in the Christmas spirit so he pressed on, through and hour of Tallin crying, ryker and briyler bickering, Dugi and Kynlie screaming for a drink (that i of course didn't have:) looking for parking, getting kicked out of a parking garage because the stroller on the top of the car didn't make it through there clearance (yep that happened), and me telling him "we should have just gone to the play land:).... But after we finally found parking and got the kids out of the car every one's attitudes changed almost instantly (which was soo nice, mine included).. There is a feeling that you get when you walk onto Temple grounds that just takes away those negative feelings.. The boys loved that I tied there blankets around there necks (like superhero capes), and Kynlie and Dugi were OVER THE MOON looking at all of the lights. We had a WONDERFUL TIME!! It was soo nice to talk to the kids about the nativity and see how they felt about Christmas, I was surprised at the things that they knew and didn't know.. This will be a tradition that we look forward to every year. Thanks DADDY for making us go:) WE LOVE YOU!!

this IS the most beautiful place on earth

love these kiddos

best friends, and super hero's of course

 

i cant get enough. its breath taking

5 CRAZY kids! I am one lucky mom.

the kids loved the tree

TUI!!! He grew right out of the premie "thing" :)

the Shepard and his sheep.

dad and his baby girl!

Dad gets the double stroller, trying to get that thing around temple square is pretty tricky:)

my sweet dugi boy

these 2 crazy boys wanted a picture w Joseph Smith:)

love the nativity!

 

 

                                     
                                         i am blessed beyond words.. Such an amazing bunch

it was soo fun to look at the nativity and see kids reaction.. it was fun to find out the things that they do and don't know, and to see the sheer joy in there eyes as they talked about baby Jesus! It made me soo proud.

 

this was the window decor for desseret book! the boys LOVED it and were convinced that it was a toy making factory.. They begged us to let them "get a closer look" ... love those boys! 

Happy Birthday DADDY!!

                                                  
                                    

                  *happy birthday to the love of my life, 34 has never looked SOO GOOD:)

Yep its that time of year, BIRTHDAY'S:) 1st up is DADDY!! Whats not to love about this man, I MEAN HONESTLY! He is definitely EVERY ONE'S favorite and its not hard to see why. He is a softy at heart, he loves to wrestle and the kids LOVE that, he is funny and genuine, he gives the best hugs and kisses, and my personal favorite he makes SUPER yummy dinners. On top of him being a WONDERFUL father to our children, he is the BEST HUSBAND in the whole world and the BEST "best friend" a girl could ask for. Here are just a few things that I LOVE ABOUT YOU honey:

I love that you are soo mindful of my needs/wants
I love that you are such a great example to our children
I love that you LOVE Duck Dynasty
I love that you are a worthy priesthood holder
I love that you are my best friend
I love that you encourage me to be the best me I can be
I love that you are DROP DEAD SEXY!!
I love that you can make me laugh when I don't even want to smile:)
I love that you listen to me even if your not interested in what I'm saying
I love that you want to be home with me and our kids over anything else
I love how you get even more handsome with every grey hair that comes in
I love that you let me hog all of the blanket when we sleep at night
I love that you watch NCIS with me, even though I know you'd rather be watching something on the history channel.
I love that you love my family
I love the way you look at me with those breath taking green eyes.
I love that you eat my bad cooking and then tell me its good
I love that you drove back to Austin for my wallet and it didn't even upset you
I love that you change diapers
I love that you write me love letters/poems
I love that you share your testimony of the gospel with everyone
I love that you tell us stories from your mission
I love that you are always giving me compliments
I love that you eat the ENTIRE APPLE, core included.
I love that you say when you saw me it was "love at first sight"
I love that you have your own unique way to "swaddle" and it has put every one of our infants to sleep almost instantly
I love that you work sooo hard for our family
I love that you always offer me your jacket when its cold outside
I love that you love Christmas music
I love that you can make/fix almost anything
I love that you took dancing classes with me, even though you REALLY didn't want to
I love that you are my own personal space heater
I love that you take the kids to church even on the days that I'm sick
I love that you still give me butterflies
I love that you kiss my forehead
I love that you chose me to spend eternity with!

This list could go on forever, I really just want you to know that I love you for YOU! Everything about you makes me happy and everyday that we spend together I am reminded of just how lucky I am. I fall more and more in love with you as the years go by and I hope that never changes.

I hope you enjoyed your birthday weekend
All my love:)

Birthday activities this year:
yummy chicken dinner (probably one of the only yummy meals I'v ever made:)
schotcheroo birthday cake with the kids
and a jazz game with mitzi and bart

Love this hunky man

GREAT FRIENDS, ice cream and the jazz what more could you want:)

Its FINALLY HERE!!!

I have been running around like a crazy women the last couple of weeks. We had an amazing Thanksgiving week! Ryker was with his dad for a few days and Briyler went with Grandma Hall to Wyoming to spend Thanksgiving with some cousins. I was super nervous for Bri he has never been on a trip away from home (I mean he's 3) so I thought he would fall apart after day 2ish but Grandma says he held it together and they all had a great time. I am glad that he enjoyed himself but I am SUPER HAPPY to have him home. He is a wild kid but I'm not ready to let him be a grown up yet:)

Kaj and I headed over to my grandparents house with the 3 little ones and enjoyed a SUPER YUMMY Thanksgiving meal! My aunts and grandparents are seriously the best cooks ever...

Everything after Thanksgiving Day is kind of a big blur for me!! I have been running around like a mad women trying to get things ready for our SEALING THIS WEEKEND!! SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, ITS HERE!!!! I am soooo excited and a little nervous at the same time. I can hardly stand it, ST GEORGE HERE WE COME!!

                               T-MINUS 2 DAYS!!!

                                   
                  until we are sealed for time and all eternity in this beautiful Temple:)

I guess with all the excitement I have been forgetting to do my weekly thankful posts.. I have been keeping up with my list at home just not posting them like I thought i would:) I am going to finish off mine and post dads list today since we are leaving tomorrow;) Enjoy!

Day #19- I am grateful for the holiday season. I love that it seems to soften peoples hearts and bring loved ones together. .

Day #20- I am grateful for laughter and how it can change any mood instantly.

Day #21- I am grateful for the power of forgiveness.. I can go on and on about this topic. I love that my children almost instantaneously forgive me for my mistakes (even though I am not so quick to do the same with them), I love that I have parents who love me unconditionally and forgive no matter what offenses have been made, I love that my husband is always the 1st one to make sure that we dont go to sleep mad at each other. He seriously NEVER holds grudges and I LOVE that about him, and Last but most important I am grateful for the Atonement!! I am grateful for a Loving Father in Heaven and for His Son.. I am grateful that the Savior paid the ultimate price and died for my sins. I am grateful for the gift of repentance and for the knowledge that I know I can and will be forgiven.

Day #23- I am grateful for the gym. It is my time to de-stress and collect my thoughts.. I love listening to church music when I workout, I know it is strange but it totally gets my thoughts wondering and before you know it your 45 min on the treadmill is DONE:)

Day #24- I am grateful for my husbands job and the fact that I get to stay home with our children.

Day #25- I am grateful for MUSIC!! I LOVE listening to genres of music that bring a good feeling into our home. My favorites are of course Church music and right now sounds of the season are totally making me happy!

Day #26- I am grateful for the DISNEY CHANEL:)

Day # 27- I am grateful for story time before bed.. This is a new thing at our house but everyone loves it INCLUDING ME so hopefully it will be around for many years to come!

Day # 28- I am grateful for FAMILY HOME EVENINGS ( even though I've totally been slacking the last couple weeks, ok ok months :-/....)

Day #29- I am grateful for frozen dinners

Day #30- I saved this one for last! I am grateful for the gift of ETERNAL FAMILIES, made possible by temple sealings.!! Yep our big Day is TOMORROW!! I cant believe that it is FINALLY HERE and we are finally going to be sealed for time and all eternity.

Daddy's list

19. For head phones. I can tune out anyone at the gym!

20. For my boys… cuz I remember my whole childhood, every night! DAD, Briyler hit me! Yuuuuup.

21. For strong family connections. Always someone to go to with problems. Whether it’s to whine and moan, get life lessons, or a simple “stop being a moron and your life would be easier”. Tenderness… :) Love brothers…

22. For the knowledge I have of eternal blessings. My wife and kids WILL be with me forever.

23. For Myspace! I found my wife there… true story actually… LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE! XOXO Nikki!

24. For computers. My hands would have cramped 30 minutes ago typing and deleting these ideas.

25. For Christmas! Cuz its only 30 days away now!

26. For the Forgotten Carols, and Michael McClean. I truthfully feel his song helped me get back on path.

27. For my parents. Through my whole life, I couldn’t be me without influence from each of them!

28. For protein powder, cuz eating chicken 24-7 gets old.

29. For the temple. I have an in to go sit and reflect on my life and ponder my direction.

30. That my savior served a mission. Blessed be his name forever.

Thanks honey.