HOME by Fathers Day

my sweet baby boy

Yep you read it right Tallin is coming home TODAY!!!! This hospital stay although shorter than the others has been a little more difficult. The Drs weren't as open to listening to my opinion and there were a few nights Tallin (and I) REALLY struggled.. He was alot more uncomfortable and unhappy this time around. (which broke my heart)

Tallin started the antibiotics for pneumonia the day we came in, which was wonderful. They put him on a general antibiotic and sent away labs to see if they could grow anything that would tell them what "specific type" of pneumonia he had, all of his labs came back pretty clear .. (which was good because that means the pneumonia never made it into his blood stream.)  The only thing that the Dr's and I disagreed on was EATING! The Dr's wanted Tallin to eat 2 oz every 3 hours. NOT GONNA HAPPEN, Tallin didn't even eat 2 oz every 3 hours at home when he was healthy so I thought it was an unrealistic goal to begin with, but the Dr's didn't listen. They made him wake up every 3 hours to eat and whatever he didn't take by mouth they make him take through his feeding tube. He was fussy and would moan all day and night long. I asked the doctors everyday if they could PLEASE change it to the schedule that he had at home... eating every 3 1/2 - 4 hours during the day and then eating every 5-6 hours at night.. I know this is out of the norm for babies but Tallin really seems to do WELL with this schedule, (he gains weight and that's all he really needs to be doing so I don't see the problem). He will take between 3- 3 1/2 oz for each feed and that seems to be sufficient for his little body... After 3 days of doing things the "Dr's way" they realised Tallin was going down hill.. He would cry alot, and he threw up on the nurses 2-3 times.. On wed night things came to a head when Tallin had the worst night to date!! I don't like confrontation but I had prepared myself all night and morning to be very stern with the Dr's and to let them know that I thought they were WRONG and I wasn't going to continue letting them force feed my baby ( i don't know if your allowed to make decisions like that but i was determined to try) ... Lucky for me I didn't have to be stern at all, the Dr's apologized for him having such a rough night and told me they were willing to "TRY" things "MY WAY" for one day and see how he did.. WOULDN'T YOU KNOW, Thurs and Friday he was back to the happy mellow baby that I knew.. he took his feeds every 3-4 hours and ate them gone, he gained weight that night (for the first time in 3-4 days) and had 0 "ZERO" puking episodes!!!! When the Dr's came in this morning they apologized UP AND DOWN telling me that they should have listened to me from the beginning and that mothers always know best!! :O) They told me that they were very impressed by my motherly instinct and how well I knew my baby..After they finished "praising" me for being such a good/in tune mom (which felt really nice) they also let me know (THIS IS THE BEST PART)  that they felt like Tallin was well enough to COME HOME!!!! This TOTALLY caught me off guard! I mean just the day before they were saying he would probably need another week in here since he was losing weight!  His pneumonia has been improving everyday and after they saw him gain weight and actually keep down his meals they felt like there was no reason for him to stay!

Somehow in the midst of all of these hospital stays Tallin has always seemed to make it home for the BIG occasions! We left the NICU when he was first born a few days before mothers day (BEST MOTHERS DAY PRESENT EVER, even thought I think we took him to primarys the late evening of mothers day, haha) and now we are coming home a few days before Fathers Day.. I definitely feel like those are tender mercies from Heavenly Father. Being a new mom and dad (again), and having Tallin be in the NICU for so long, it was really nice that we were able to spend those holidays together.

I am soo grateful for all of the tender mercies that Heavenly Father has given me and my family during this long journey. I am thankful for the fa miles I have met in the hospital and for there inspiration and faith. Its really easy to see how corrupt the world is becoming but lately for me I have been able to see just how BEAUTIFUL this earthly life is.. Not only physically beautiful ( I love the mountains in the summer) but when we live the gospel and reach out to others, it helps people (namely me) find beauty in there everyday trials. I am grateful for the prophet and the general authorities and for the example that they set for me and I am extremely grateful for the complete strangers (and friends/family)who have put there arms around me and shown me what it truly means to be Christ-like and Loving.

Thank you SOOO MUCH to all of our family/ friends and ward members who have taken such great care of us over the last couple of months. Hopefully in the near future it will be our turn to help take care of someone else in need.

sorry I didnt have my camera so these are phone pictures

he is always wide awake

such a big boy:)

my get me outta here!!

we lasted 1 whole day at home:)

                           


Yep you read it right, by the time I took Tallin home, home we only lasted 1 night. After Tallin was released from the hospital last Tuesday (i think that's what day it was) we went to my grandmas house to give him a few extra days to recover. Tallin was doing great for the most part, he was on no oxygen and he was sleeping pretty well at night. Friday he started throwing up but didn't really seem to have any other symptoms so I jotted it off to reflex, by Saturday when he really hadn't kept anything down I kind of started to notice things were slowing becoming out of the norm for him. Saturday we celebrated Dugi's 2nd birthday so the day was super busy and we kept an eye on Tallin but still went with the reflex theory. Saturday night after everything settled down Kaj and I took the kids home and I was really excited to see the kids and soo ready to start a routine that would work for us, but that didn't happen. Sunday morning rolled around and Tallin had been a little fussy and "grunty", so I woke him up to feed him at about 10ish, (he's a late sleeper) and after I woke him up I noticed that something wasn't right. I had Kaj get me his monitor and low and behold his oxygen stats were SUPER LOW (in the 40s-50s for 2 solid minutes and then in the low 70s for another 2 minutes) by this time his color was starting to change so Kaj called my mom to ask her if she could come take me and Tal to the hospital. When my mom got to the house she took one look at Tallin and said "no way am I taking that baby in my car, we need to call 911", the ambulance was sent out along with a fire truck and 3 cop cars just in case he wasn't breathing and they needed to do emergency procedures. After Tallin started turning colors I got his oxygen tank and cranked it up so by the time the paramedics and police officers arrived he was doing much better......... Soo mommy and Tallin went for a ride in the ambulance, grandma followed behind, and dad got to stay home with the kiddo's.

Once we got to the hospital the doctor did a lumbar puncture to check for meningitis, then they did several labs which show his white blood count at being 23 (pretty high), and they did another xray where they discovered he has pneumonia.

I am pretty sure the ER doctor thinks I'm a HORRIBLE mother, when he came into the room and told me Tallin had pneumonia, I laughed, YEP LAUGHED... I honestly don't know what got into me, except for I knew if I didn't laugh I'd probably end up crying or having a TOTAL MELTDOWN so I didn't know what else to do:) to be honest it was actually a pretty funny/awkward moment! haha

anyhow getting back to Tallin, they admitted him and put him on a liter and a half of oxygen since he's desating so low. Since he is soo little and since he just got out of the hospital they don't want to take any chances with him so we will probably be here for a few days, at least.  They have already had to poke him 4 times for an IV (he has really bad veins because he's had so many) and numerous other times for labs. Everything is coming back pretty good and within the normal that they would expect for him having pneumonia. (Well everything except his glucose levels, haha, the charge nurse has been so busy tonight and when she came in to check Tallin she decided she wanted to give him more fluids. She accidentally grabbed a bag with extra glucose, so Tallin was on a SUGAR HIGH for a couple hours.. its kind of funny, totally cant hurt him and everyone makes mistakes so it doesn't really bother me at all.:) He hadn't eaten all day so when I fed him he took a FULL bottle and he did it in about 8 min, HUNGRY BOY. All in all he is looking pretty good, he is on antibiotics for the pneumonia and the doctors are hoping he only has to be here for a few days for observation. Hopefully this will be a short stay :O)

Happy (2nd) Birthday Kajsen (aka Dugi)..:O)

I SOOO cant believe Kajsen is 2!! Where has the time gone! I remember the 1st time doctors put you in my arms, you were sooo cute with your super white hair and cute little grin. Your super good looks were a bit deceiving:) You have never taken a binky from day 1 so when you were mad there was NO consoling you, we just had to let you cry it out and that YOU DID. You have always been more cuddly then your older brothers and sister (I don't know about tallin yet), you LOVE to be held and you have a super cute shy/flirtatious personality. You make us all laugh, and we love it! Here are a few things about you..

*you don't know your real name, you only go by Dugi. (you can thank grandpa for that)
*you still want a bottle and you will steal it from Kynlie or even Tallin if you have to
*you love to read (the Jesus books are your favorite)
*you LOVE pots and pans
*you also LOVE WATER
*you are a daddy and grandmas boy.. 100%
*you like to play ball
*you will sit and watch almost any sport with grandpa (your favorites are basketball and hockey)
*you love babies
*you always want to "cuddle" Pipa, and she doesn't love it:)
*you eat peanut butter by the spoonful
*you always want to be the center of attention
*you would eat candy 24/7 if I'd let you
*you wear your shoes EVERYWHERE
*you just started calling everyone in the house "a meanie" whenever you don't get your way and for some reason this REALLY upsets your brothers and it usually causes a fight:)
*you like to dance and its pretty cute
*your favorite show is mickey mouse club house
*you are in your terrible 2 phase. You don't listen to a word anyone tells you, and you can throw a MEAN temper tantrum.
*somehow in the middle of all of that you manage to show a super sweet side of you that I LOVE OHH SOO MUCH!

I am soo happy that I am your mom and that you were sent to our family. You bring such a unique personality to our family and it wouldnt be the same without you! Mommy and Daddy love you Dugi and we hope you had an AWESOME birthday! (I know Ryker will be sad he missed the fun, we MISSED YOU RYKER)

here are a few pics of the day, and the SUPER LAST MINUTE GET TOGETHER we had:)

You LOVE FROSTING:O)

blowing out your candle

you were so excited when everyone sang happy birthday TO YOU

dad is the designated ice cream man, we needed his muscles for the job.

aunt lexi got you a football

RJ and Kynlie

Briyler soo wanted to get into dugi's gifts

dont worry everyone grandpa's got everything under control

Briyler and RJ, and Tyler giving bunny ears in the back:)

Grandma helping with the presents! and yep those are PANS for Dugi!

Uncle James and daddy

Grandma Trish and Dani

Count your blessings:) the financial burden

Just when you think you've cashed in all that you can from the Lord, he continues to pour out more tender mercies. When you are in the hospital and worried about your child's life and well being anything and everything that the hospital can do is MORE THAN WELCOME, and they sure did their fare share of tests on Tallin: MRI, Lumbar puncture, 2 Xray's EVERYDAY for 2 weeks, and multiple labs, while in the hospital I was more than happy that they were "covering" all of there bases and doing everything humanly possible to help my baby but now that we are out its back to REALITY. All of those tests cost MONEY and LOTS of it. Kaj and I received a bill from his NICU stay at the murray IMC and that bill alone was 140,000 (before insurance, but still our portion was not going to be small). Before I left the hospital yesterday I talked to a few case workers about what was available for help and if we would qualify, the social worker helped me fill out some paperwork for Utah Medicaid and also gave me another form for intermountain in case we didn't qualify, (which by the looks of it we probably dont) when I told Kaj that I looked at there income maximums and that I didn't think we would qualify I think the only thing that ran through his mind was PURE PANIC.
But all was put to rest when he got a call from the insurance company this afternoon:) :) they were calling to inform us that we had a family combined deductable of $3,600 which we have CLEARLY already met, (between Kynlie's issues and a few of Tallin's issues).. They told us that EVERYTHING ELSE from this year will be COVERED IN FULL, so that includes my labor and delivery, tallins nicu stay and his picu stay, and anything else that might come up in the next year:)!!! Kaj said that he clarified with the lady about 5 times just because he couldn't believe everything else would be covered and  that we won't have to pay anything else out of pocket.. The last time Kaj and I talked to the insurance company we thought they had told us we had a "Cap" on our insurance. We have been SOO NERVOUS because we are almost over that cap now and that was without any bills from primary's. This is most definitely not an accident and/or a coincidence, I know that Heavenly Father has heard my prayers and knows our family and our needs. I am soo grateful for my husband and his testimony of tithing, no matter how hard things get and how many bills stack up he always pays our tithing FIRST. I know that this is a blessing and a tender mercy given to us from a loving HEAVENLY FATHER. There is no possible way we would be able to pay all of these medical bills on top of trying to get into a new home, since our lease is up in Sept:) My HEART is overly happy today. The weight that has been lifted off our shoulders is HUGE.
Now its time to CELEBRATE, Tallin is home and Dugi's birthday is FRIDAY:O)...





               
                                             


                                     


 

My miracle Tallin :O)

Tallin passing his final carseat test!:)

Miracles HAPPEN! I have witnessed them happen to our family (and many other families) over and over throughout the past month.
Tallin is growing and getting stronger everyday.. There aren't words to express how grateful I  for his recovery. I know without a shadow of a doubt that it is a miracle my baby Tallin is here today. I feel so blessed to have the knowledge that the gospel brings to my life, I know that the church is true and I am blessed to have a testimony of that. I know that the Savior loves each of us beyond our capacity to understand and I know that he hears and answers our prayers. I have met a lot of wonderful people while being at both hospitals the last couple of months and I have heard many stories that have strengthened my testimony. I have laughed with many families, cried with many families, felt joy when children were getting released, felt sadness when others were not and throughout all of the different emotions I have just felt an overwhelming amount of gratitude for all of my blessings and trials. They have made me who I am today and they have taught me how to have compassion and how to love people beyond what I thought I was capable of. Throughout this past month our family has grown closer than ever and we have EXPERIENCED 1st hand the blessings of Heaven and for that I am ETERNALLY GRATEFUL .
The last couple weeks have been very scary: going from seeing Tallin sedated and on a ventilator and to having moments where he looked almost completely lifeless  He's had days he's been covered from head to toe with monitors and tubes and other days that no matter how hard we tried he just would not breath on his own, but FINALLY those days are behind us!! Tallin is doing wonderful and I couldn't be happier... I really cant believe this day is here and we are actually going to bring him home (again:).. Thank you sooo much for all of your LOVE, SUPPORT, PRAYERS and FASTING, It means more to me than any of you will ever know.

Here is Tallin all ready to come home:)... Well, we are actually going to my grandmas house for a couple of days just to let Tallin adjust to outside air (with NO OXYGEN WOOP WOOP),and to give the kids a few days to make sure they are 100% healthy) .... Ohh and A HUGE THANK YOU TO MY WARD FOR OFFERING TO CLEAN MY HOUSE BEFORE TALLIN COMES HOME, I love them all SOOO MUCH!!

LOVE his sweet lil face:)

he loves to just "chill"

His sweet little feet, and hopefully the LAST hospital band for a LONG time!

I LOVE to snuggle

GOING HOME!!!

LOVE HIM!!

Friday Night ZOO adventure

Friday was kind of a bitter sweet day, THE START OF SUMMER YAY, and also the start of the summer visitation schedule for Ryker (BOOOOO). Rick isn't in town SO I was HOPING Ryker would be able to stay and do the zoo with us but his grandpa and Ricks brother in law said No.. ( I was REALLLY BUMMED about that, but I guess that's the way it is sometimes) I guess we will just have to do the zoo a few more times this summer...

Friday night was primary's annual zoo excursion, they close down the park for all primary children's patients and there families. The social workers were kind enough to give us tickets for this year, so we took the boys along with Grandma Trish and PAPA.. The kids absolutely LOVED IT!! The event went from 6-9 so I wasn't quite sure how the kids would do, (since Kynlie and Kajsen go to bed between 730-8, but it didn't phase them at all.. They did great) Here are a few pictures of the kids, we had a great time..
(I am soo happy that I took a few hours to get out of the hospital and spend time with the kids and the family, I miss my the little munchkins terribly:)

dad being silly:)

kynlie girl:)

bri measures up to an "adult female" haha

mom and the boys:)

dugi loved the animals

love these boys!

handsome boys.

bri bri loved the lion

soo sweet...

mom and her "big boy"

i hate that this pic is blurry, its my fav one:(

kynlie didnt like sitting in the "eagles nest"

dugi was in Heaven! (WATER)

bri loves to climb these days

NO MORE VENTILATOR, and getting moved OUT OF the ICU!

                                     




I didn't want to write this post to soon but Tallin is DOING GREAT!! They took the ventilator out yesterday and he couldn't be more happy to have the tube out!:) He is awake a lot more and he loves to look at himself in the mirror! They gave him a bath and with his hair cleaned and the lights on, it looks like his hair is RED (SOOO CUTE). He weighs 6lbs 9oz and is still the CUTEST BABY IN THE UNIT..... He is on the high flow canula right now and the Doctors are hoping to move him out of the ICU TODAY!!!! YAY:O) Tallin is on 6 liters of flow right now but they are hoping to slowly go down on the flow and see how he tolerates it. He should be able to start eating bottles by tomorrow and then if that goes well he will be able to come HOME.. I can hardly believe I'm writing about bringing him home... He still has a few more things he needs to do:

Keep his stats up without the high flow canula

eat eat EAT

and complete a few more CPT tests, (breathing treatments)

Everything is looking great as of right now so there is no reason to think that Tallin wont do GREAT with all of those requirements. It will still probably be a couple of days but the END IS IN SIGHT!!! I cant wait to get him home, I am loving getting to know his little personality and I cant wait for Kaj and the kids to get to know him too.. He has the sweetest temperament, and is such a mellow little boy:O)